WTF is Cybersecurity?

I’m serious.

What is it?

I’ve been doing this network/Internet thing for 20 years and no one that knows what they’re talking about says “cyber” anything.

The Department of Homeland Security will hire up to 1,000 cybersecurity experts over the next three years to help protect U.S. computer networks, an Obama administration official said.

1000 huh? What is a “cybersecurity expert”? Is it like the nations CTO who if you listen to him for more than a couple of minutes you realize he’s just throwing buzzwords and doesn’t have fucking clue about anything?

“Cybersecurity is one of our most urgent priorities,” said Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano in making the announcement Thursday.

Uh huh. Janet, sweetie… You’ll be serious when you figure out what a cyber is and stop reading the latest buzzword bingo card that some flunky handed you five minutes before the speech.

“Cybersecurity”, what a bunch of bullshit.

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0 Responses to WTF is Cybersecurity?

  1. “Cybersecurity”: More like “watching what you do on the internetz for fun and profit”.

  2. Borepatch says:

    CyberSecurity. Si-bur suh-kyur-uh-tee. N. Method of increasing budget in Fed.Gov, e.g. adding 1000 headcount.

    That said, I’d like to see some basic metrics enforced across the Fed.Gov, which would help a lot more than 1000 new mouths. Time to patch, half-life of unpatched vulnerabilities, etc. Basic blocking and tackling that’s not being done well now.

  3. Ride Fast says:

    Cyber-anything is simply a code word indicating the speaker knows nothing about computer-anything security. They may be summarily dismissed upon uttering it.

    Like the people who hang vision obscuring objects from their cars center mirror. It is also a badge indicating an IQ consistently below body temperature as measured in Celsius, and therefore you may legally rabbit to get the hell away from them.

  4. DirtCrashr says:

    Cyberoutsourcing! Let the Chinese run our electrical grid and water departments too! Or some guy in Bangalore.