“The point of being in jail is not to mistreat people or make them feel worse and resentful,” –Marion Damick

No, the point of jail to keep criminals off the streets.

But they shouldn’t be better off in jail…

The County Jail Oversight Board recently approved the purchase of 40 Sony Bravia televisions for viewing in the jail common areas.

If a judge sentenced you to the Allegheny County Jail, you’d be provided three hot meals and a bed to sleep in, but in common areas, you’d also be able to watch cable shows on 42-inch Sony flat screens.

Anyone else see the problem here?

Yeah, it must be a blacklist.

Consent? From a maid?

I thought there was no such thing as consensual sex between people with unequal power relations.

Crickets from the left in 5… 4… 3…

See you there! (or not)

To: Webmaster

From:
Lizz
lizz.winstead@gmail.com

Message:
Hey Alan. I am working on an art project and have been trying to get actual dimensions of the birth certificate you posted. Can you let me know. Thanks.

When the Obama Birth Certificate thing got big back in 2008, I posted a copy of mine because I was born in Hawaii about the same time Obama might have been and people were wondering what a birth certificate from Hawaii might look like. It’s become one of my most visited posts for some reason.

I googled the email address and discovered that Lizz Winstead is very liberal.

But just to make sure it was the person I thought it was I replied:

Lizz Winstead, co-creator of The Daily Show?

-Alan

And she sent back:

The very same one!

I am making wrapping paper of Obama’s Birth Certificate and need to measure it out for the printer so the sheets don’t cut it off. I can’t find dimensions anywhere! So I technically don’t nee the dimensions of YOUR BC but that of a Hawaiian one.
If you wouldn’t mind.

Thanks!

Well, how about that.  I had a chuckle at the thought of a liberal photoshopping up another Obama birth certificate.   Wonder how you can make wrapping paper out of something that seems to not exist? But anyway, I’m a nice guy so I gave her what she asked for. And a little extra.

Lizz,

My copy is 6 1/4 inches wide and 5 1/8 inches tall.

Please don’t use the photo of my birth certificate for any commercial purposes. I don’t mind it being used within fair use but I reserve all copyrights.

-Alan

It’s been two days. I don’t think I’m getting a thank you.

Liberals.

So polite until they get what they want from you.

They’re a useless pain in the ass and they steal your stuff.

Yep, it’s the TSA.

U.S. Surgeon General Regina Benjamin was in the Bay Area touring a peninsula hospital. NBC Bay Area reporter Damian Trujillo asked her about the run on tablets and Dr. Benjamin said although she wasn’t aware of people stocking up, she did not think that would be an overreaction. She said it was right to be prepared.

If you are in the US and are worried about radiation from the Japanese Nuclear Power plants then you are an idiot. The Surgeon General who tells you that stocking up on iodine tablets is not an overreaction is the queen of idiots.

In the words of the Obamarama, LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR:

Even if the Japanese nuclear plants exploded (which they won’t) There is no danger of radiation fallout here in the US. (ask me how I know)

All this ZOMG! TEH RADIATIONS! is just fear mongering among idiots and gullible morons.

So don’t be one.

A blue eyed, white guy holding a toy gun. That was from last Halloween, wasn’t it?

Amazing things, guns. Always mysteriously going off when they’re loaded and you pull the trigger.

The President that ruined the economy.

The President that pushed the unconstitutional Obamacare.

Nice legacy.

You’re gonna have to do a lot more than build houses in your retirement to make up for this shit sandwich you’re making us eat.